fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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