i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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