the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
