I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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