This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
