I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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