I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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