are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
