Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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