Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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