are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
