I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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