he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he was CRYING into my vagina
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
