I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
