Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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