Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
