You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
