This girl is more easily done than said...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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