I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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