Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The air taste purple.
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