she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
