She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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