things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize