I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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