You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
