smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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