I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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