Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
