ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so let's talk penis.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
