So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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