We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
