i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My balls are so social today.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
