I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
