Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
this hospital has no fireball
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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