he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
