there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
