One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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