I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
