My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
and you fell through a lawn chair
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
