But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
this will be a night to untag.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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