I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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