Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
