maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
