just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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