guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
