Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He better not be in your backpack
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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