For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
