I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
