This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
