dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
