Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
