i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I believe in your delicious
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
