But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
