Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
