I must be too annoying 4 u.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
