I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
