i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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