left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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