its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
