shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
