i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
