He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i need to put some appletini on your dick
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
