I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
