Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize