Everything about him screamed your future.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
