I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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