You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
