i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
