Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
