either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize