it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
