I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
