This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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