It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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