Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
