if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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