I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
