we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
