The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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