My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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