Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
