He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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