She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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